


For as Many Years as We Have

by AnnaTheHank



Series: Devotions [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley is a wreck, Crowley is bad at emotions, Fluff, Happy Aziraphale, M/M, Multi, Vows, Wedding, but the poor thing is trying his best, god they are so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaTheHank/pseuds/AnnaTheHank
Summary: One year ago Crowley came crashing into the lives of Aziraphale and Gabriel. Now, they're getting married.That is, if Crowley can get over his anxiety and self-doubt.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Devotions [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976608
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33





	For as Many Years as We Have

**Author's Note:**

> One year (and 16 days) ago, I started a little spite-writing fic to get some pent up frustrations out. One year (and 16 days) ago, I met all of you lovely and wonderful readers and friends. And one year (and 16 days) later, I'm happy to be able to share more of these buffoons with you all.
> 
> And do keep an eye on the series, as there is more to come in the next year! (such as the long awaited and many promised nsfw scenes and the sequel!)
> 
> Thank you all for being on this rollercoaster of life with me, for taking the time and energy to read my writing, and engage with it so fully and wonderfully. You all make writing worth it. And I wouldn't have nearly as much fun with it without you all. <3 <3 I hope you are all staying safe, healthy, and (most importantly) sane during this times <3

Crowley stood in front of the mirror and shook. He had always been really good at ties, but for some reason that day he just couldn’t seem to get it to work. It could have been the shake in his hands. But more likely it was that he knew he could never get it perfect enough, and that he couldn’t leave this room until it was perfect, and so, therefore, he would never have to face the dread that was waiting for him down at the garden. 

“Are you quite finished yet, Anothony?” Michael asked, entering the room without so much as a knock. Uriel followed her in. They were both dressed up in lovely sky-blue colors. Colors that matched his tie. His tie that had to be perfect.

“Almost done,” Crowley lied. “No need to bring out the first name yet, sheesh.”

Michael studied him for a second, a flash of pity clear on her face. “Uriel, go let them know he’ll be there soon.”

“Good luck,” Uriel whispered as she slipped out, closing the door softly behind her.

“I knew this day would come,” Crowley said. He sighed and turned around, his imperfectness left hanging around his neck. “No witnesses, right?”

Michael just smiled at him and sat on the bed. She patted the space next to her, but Crowley knew what she was up to. He turned back to the mirror and tried to drown out her incoming lecture with the complexity that was modern fashion.

“I know you’re scared,” Michael started. 

_Scared of what you’ll say,_ Crowley thought.

“But they love you, Crowley. They wouldn’t have asked if they didn’t.”

Crowley gulped, which made working on his tie even more difficult. Seriously, when did ties become so hard?

“And you love them, trust me; I can tell.” Crowley risked a glance at her in the mirror, she was still smiling. “This is right. The three of you together are right.”

Crowley looked down at his shoes. The left one had a little stain near the toe. He couldn’t have that. He grabbed a cloth off the chair next to him and knelt down, rubbing furiously at the audacity of the stain. On this. His wedding day. How dare it?

Michael stood up and placed a hand on Crowley’s shoulder, stilling his movements. She knelt down next to him, and in that moment she wasn’t his warden, or his mother-like figure. She wasn’t even his neighbor. She was his friend, the same girl who had crouched down next to him in that street all those years ago, back when he was covered in mud and bruises from a fight he should have known he’d never win. And there was nothing to fear from that girl. 

“I’m going to fuck it up,” he whispered.

“Probably,” Michael agreed. Crowley nearly smiled, because wasn’t that just like her. “But they’ll still love you.” He looked over at her, and it was hard not to trust the sparkle in her eyes. “And they’ll help you fix it.”

“I’ve never had that before,” Crowley admitted. Michael was the closest thing to unconditional love he’s ever felt, but it was still too judgy to be complete.

Michael gave his shoulder a little squeeze. “So don’t lose it to fear.”

Crowley groaned and let his head fall back. “Why do you have to be so wise?”

Michael smiled and helped pull him up. “Because you’d be lost without me.”

It was a day for vows, love, and emotional vulnerability. So Crowley said fuck it and grabbed Michael’s hand. “I would,” he told her earnestly. “You are the best friend a guy like me could have. Thank you.”

Michael stared at him for a moment, a true connection taking place. Then she smirked and reached up to pinch his cheek. “Look at you being all sentimental.”

“Alright, alright, enough of that.” Crowley swatted her hand away and they shared a short laugh.

“C’mon, Casanova,” Michaels said. She took over the duty of his tie, managing to miraculously get it done in one attempt. Must be a witch. “Let’s get you married.”

-

Aziraphale smiled, subtly watching as Crowley approached the garden. He would stop every few steps, either entirely frozen or shaking like crazy. A few times he had started to turn around, but Michael would grab his arm and turn him the right way around again. It would take a while for them to make it down the rest of the path, but they would get here eventually.

“Looks nervous,” Gabriel commented. He came up behind Aziraphale and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

Aziraphale nodded. “His feet must be absolutely frozen.”

Gabriel pulled Aziraphale closer, resting his chin on the back of his head. “We should buy him some wool socks.”

Aziraphale chuckled and turned around his husband’s arms. “I’m so very glad we get to do this again,” he said. “Our first time wasn’t exactly special, was it?”

Gabriel smiled. He gently grabbed Aziraphale’s chin, tipping his head back a bit to look deep into his eyes. “We’ll just have to make this one twice as special to make up for it.”

Aziraphale smiled with giddy joy. It’s not often one gets the opportunity to re-do a marriage. And even less often they get to marry two people at once. He was overcome with happiness at how his life had turned out. It was hard to believe that just a year ago he was a miserable old fool. He was still a fool, and he certainly wasn’t getting any younger, but at least now he was happy as happy could be. 

He leaned into Gabriel’s embrace, wrapping himself up in the warmth of his hug. And soon he would have Crowley there to hug as well. And soon they would all be married. And their life of joy and happiness could continue forever. And he just couldn’t wait.

-

“C’mon, Crowley. It’s literally one more step.” Michael stood by the entrance to the garden and gave him an exasperated sigh. She gestured up the little path, where Aziraphale and Gabriel were waiting, both staring at him with those soft smiles he had come to love so well. 

He shook his head. If his body wasn’t petrified with fear, he might have run away. “I can’t do it.”

“Yes you can,” Michael said. “And you will.”

Crowley’s jaw shook, then his leg, then the whole rest of his body. And then Aziraphale was furrowing his eyebrows. And then he was walking towards him. Oh god, he was walking towards him. Crowley willed his legs to move, to carry him far far away from the life he’s always wanted but knows somewhere deep down inside he doesn’t deserve.

“I’ll take it from here, Michael, thank you.” Aziraphale smiled at her and she gave him a short nod before joining the rest of the small party down in the garden. 

Aziraphale stepped up to Crowley and placed a warm hand on his cheek. The warmth seemed to spread out from the point of contact, a golden radiance filling all of Crowley’s missing bits, making him whole again. He stopped shaking. 

“My dear, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. It’s not too late to change your mind.”

Crowley glanced at the others waiting for him. Aziraphale’s old friends had made the trip up. Michale and Uriel were there with their smiles. Bentley had offered to plan and run the event, but had been encouraged to come only as a guest instead, yet had insisted he helped and so offered to perform the ceremony. Everyone they knew and loved was up there. 

“This is a big commitment,” Aziraphale continued. “It’s fair to be a little worried. And if you’re not ready, it’s okay.” His thumb rubbed gently over Crowley’s cheek and his wandering eyes finally landed on his face. Aziraphale smiled at him and gave an encouraging nod.

Crowley reached up, placing his hand over Aziraphale’s. “I want to marry you,” he whispered. He looked over at the patiently-waiting Gabriel. “And Gabriel. But I don’t...you don’t…” he sighed, unable to properly voice his concerns. 

Fortunately, Aziraphale had become a pro at reading his mind. He stepped ever closer. “You deserve to be happy, my dear.” Crowley closed his eyes and tried to let it be true (while also trying not to cry). “And,” Aziraphale continued, making Crowley’s throat close up. “You fill our lives up with such joy and excitement.” He peaked at the little smile on Aziraphale’s face. “It really wouldn’t be fair to keep that from us now, would it?”

Crowley shook his head. It wouldn’t be fair at all. But he also brought along a lot of baggage, baggage that they didn’t deserve to have to carry. 

“I’m afraid you’re stuck with us forever, dear,” Aziraphale said. “Wedding or not.”

Crowley blinked at him and he knew there was a truth to his words. Because there was no one else he’d rather be with than the two of them. And he was trying to understand that they wanted to be with him too. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. He took Aziraphale’s hand away from his cheek and held it by his side. “I’m ready now.”

Aziraphale smiled at him. “Are you sure?”

Crowley looked between the two of them, felt that golden radiance spread through his nerves once more. He didn’t want to lose that feeling. And Michael had been right: the only way to lose it was to never have it at all. He nodded at Aziraphale. “I’m sure.”

-

It had been Gabriel’s idea. The wedding. The marriage had been all Aziraphale, though he never would admit to it. But he had spent the last month or so hinting about it in that not-so-subtle way he was known to do. And Gabriel knew how to take a hint. 

Crowley had never left their house after he was injured last year. And after everything had happened he had become a permanent resident in their spare room. (Not that he spent many nights in there). And one night the two of them had sat Crowley down on the couch and asked him to marry them. He had looked a lot like he did right then, standing before them in a put-together suit. Pale. Sweaty. Nervous.

But he had said yes with the largest smile he had around. It was a smile he was trying to mimic now, but was struggling with his twitching lips and shivering cheeks.

Aziraphale had suggested a simple, private wedding like he and Gabriel had had, to be easy. But it had been Gabriel’s idea to have a proper wedding, like the one they should have gotten before. And so he went first. 

“Crowley.” He took his future husband’s hand while holding his current husband’s, creating a small triangle of love. “When I first met you, I never thought I could come to like you, let alone love you.” He looked over at Aziraphale, smiling at the thought of it all. “I thought you would hurt him.” Aziraphale gave Gabriel’s hand a squeeze. “But you proved you were a true friend, not just to Aziraphale, but to me.” Crowley gulped and shivered. His hand was incredibly sweaty in Gabriel’s grasp. “You are a breath of fresh wind everywhere you go, Crowley. And I can only hope I get to breathe it every day.” He smiled and pulled Crowley a little bit closer to them. “I will always protect you,” he vowed, just as he had to Aziraphale. And he always made good on his promises. 

-

Aziraphale watched Crowley try to shrink away into his suit. For his defense, he was doing a very good job of staying still. Aziraphale knew it was hard for him to accept love, and accepting it so publicly, so grand, so all at once, it must have been difficult. And Aziraphale was so proud of him. 

“I will always protect you,” Gabriel finished. Then he looked at Aziraphale, the same promise repeated in his gaze. 

Aziraphale smiled at him, then looked at Crowley, who looked so desperately like he wanted to run away. But he had chosen to stay. He had chosen to be with them. He had chosen happiness. So Aziraphale would try to show him a little mercy, and keep the sentiments short.

“My love,” he said, squeezing Crowley’s hand. “You are one of the most exciting things to ever happen to my life, and one of the best. I was so...scared, before I met you. So filled with worry and doubt. I never thought I’d get to be like my old self again. But you showed me how to open back up, to be who I was without any hesitation. I will never be able to thank you enough for that. But I do promise that I will try. I will love you until I can’t possibly love anymore.” And he squeezed Gabriel’s hand as well. It was the promise he should have made years ago. But at least he was making it now.

-

This was a mistake. Crowley knew that as he pulled his hands away from Gabriel and Aziraphale. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the crumpled and scribbled notes of what he planned to say. He glanced over them and growled. They weren’t good enough. He knew he should have gone first! How the hell was he supposed to follow that?

He gulped and looked up at the two of them. He must look pathetic, all hunched into himself, shaking, sweating, not even able to muster a smile. What had he been thinking? He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t stand there and make such wonderful declarations of love. He was only experiencing it for the first time, after all. How could they expect something like this from him?

But they were patient in their waiting, giving him the time to think, the time to work up the nerve. “I’ve always...” Crowley sighed and clenched his eyes shut. No, that was too cheesy. He had to think of something better. But what if they liked cheesy? What if they wanted it? And, really, cheesy was all Crowley had. “I’ve always looked for comfort in other people.” He winced, because didn’t that make him sound like a great catch. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m not very good at this.”

“You don't have to be good,” Aziraphale assured him.

“Just honest,” Gabriel agreed. 

Honest? They wanted honest? Crowley didn’t _do_ honest. Certainly not when it came to his _feelings_. But they wanted it. And he wanted to give them everything. So he took a deep breath and started over. 

“I’m a disaster,” he said. Because he was being honest. “I don’t think I’ll ever have my life together. I’m a mess. I-I make messes. Always have. Always will. And no one should ever have to be responsible for cleaning up after me. But I’m not always the best at cleaning up after myself. The two of you deserve better and I…” he looked down at his feet, unable to meet their gaze, “I don’t think I ever will be better.” He felt Aziraphale getting ready to argue so he had to finish fast. “All of that is true but if the two of you still want to make the terrible, really just horrible judgment call to marry me, well...then, I guess I’ll just have to be better. I promise. I’ll do everything in my power, every day, to be worthy of that love.”

Crowley closed his eyes and shook the nerves out in one of his legs. He waited. Waited for them to realize the mistake they were making. Waited for them to leave him, as they had every right to do. He heard Bentley talking, but the rush of his blood in his ears drowned out all the words. He was probably telling everyone to go home, it was all over. 

Then a strong hand was on his chin, tilting his head back up. Gabriel was holding him, and Crowley tensed up, waiting to be thrown out. But all Gabriel did was pull him a little bit closer to kiss him. And Crowley’s eyes popped wide open. Wait, what? Then Aziraphale was cupping his face in both of his hands and kissing him as well. What was happening? Then the little crowd around them was clapping. Did...did he just get married?

“Don’t look so surprised, darling.” Aziraphale stood to Crowley’s side, hooking their arms together. “We wouldn’t have asked if we didn’t absolutely want to be with you.”

“He’s right.” Gabriel moved to Crowley’s other side, taking his other arm. “We love you, Crowley. You’re not getting rid of us that easily.”

As they walked him back through the garden, up to their house where they would celebrate with their friends, Crowley knew there was no escaping the hold they had on him. And not just the physical one. He was so wrapped up in their lives and their love that leaving was impossible. Even if he did manage to physically separate himself from the two of them, he would always love them.

He would always be loved by them.

A year ago he had found them. And he would never let them go for as many years as they had.


End file.
